the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize