If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
