I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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