I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
