hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
