Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
