Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
