You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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