Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
