I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
