i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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