That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
