Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
