I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize