just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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