The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
