i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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