last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
