Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
