i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
