Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize