respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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