Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
