My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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