NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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