were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He is an equal opportunity slut.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize