In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
