well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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