Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
