He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
