please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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