Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
