my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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