How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
