let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
