So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
