Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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