Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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