don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
