Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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