party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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