You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
