I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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