I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even my vagina gasped.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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