dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
