you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Gay?
German.
Pity.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
