idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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