sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
