An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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