Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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