Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How does one acquire holy water?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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