seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
