I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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