i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
