Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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