New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Shame - the story of my life.
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