Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He passed out mid-signature
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
