why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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