I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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