dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize