filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
