OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
