I think I won the penis lottery.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
sarcasm needs its own font
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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