i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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