i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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