the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
